The TV Czar's Emmy Ballot: Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

A lot of categories make for tough balloting because of the massive range of actors or actresses available to fill out the six slots open for nominations. Unfortunately, the supporting actor in a comedy series has the opposite problem. There are plenty of nice comedic performances being given by men, but there aren’t nearly as many worthy of Emmy consideration as their female counterparts. There seems to be a clear top 3, but the other three slots are difficult to fill out. Without using those spots on all the male characters of Modern Family or from overhyped shows such as The Big Bang Theory, filling out this ballot suddenly becomes a bit of a tall order. Nonetheless, the Emmy gods demand six nominees, so here are my top six.

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Lost Rewatch Chat "Tabula Rasa"

Since the Internet clearly needs some more people to talk about Lost, I have decided to collect some of my friends and discuss the first season of the seminal series.  Starting this week, I will be conducting chats with a couple of friends of the Czar as we work our way through the opening season.  Feel free to add your own thoughts about the episode in the comments below.

This week, we have special guest star... the TV Czarina!  Taking a break from being the best mother in the world, the Czarina is joining to talk Lost from the loveseat across the room.  Yeah, we did a G chat while in the same room.  It wasn't as weird as it sounds.

Czar:  It's our first Kate episode, and the first flashback episode that goes beyond the plane.  How do you like the flashback structure interspersed with real time?

Czarina:  I liked it. I especially liked that we jumped back and forth between Kate apparently being a bad person, yet doing redeemable things...maybe redeemable isn't the right word, but she clearly isn't "that bad."  I think it showed us that Kate was going to be more of a complex character... (but we all know she ended up sucking *spoiler!*)

    Czar:  It's one of the hallmarks of the entire series.  This is just a collection of people.  Everyone has their warts, but in this time of crisis they band together and do some truly remarkable things to survive.  It gives everyone a fresh start and an opportunity to be the people they always wanted to be.

Czarina:  Exactly. And I liked that Jack explicitly stated that point in the episode...although if I was him I would still be kind of curious and always have my eye on Kate.  It was refreshing, to me, in a show where so little is explicitly stated. :)

I know I'm getting a little out of order here, but can we talk about the ending? We had this bright, cheery moment where everyone gets to start fresh and have a new life, then ominous music as we close in on Locke...

Czar:  That was weird, but they're clearly trying to paint him as a weird dude.  We aren't certain of his intentions.  That being said, doesn't he remind you of every South Georgia senior citizen sitting on his porch on a Saturday morning.  Whittling, playing old games, and giving speeches to young whippersnappers?  It's like we're home!

Czarina:  Yes, in my notes I wrote "Locke=mysterious" (my notes aren't very in depth).  I figured that's what they were going for though. That being said, so far he seems like a nice dude (you know, except the telling little boys secrets bit).

Also, MAD PROPS to Locke for so easily making a whistle. I've made a whistle before. It's sneaky hard. Props.

Czar:  Just in case you missed it, my wife made sure to hammer home the point that we are from South Georgia.

How big of a thrill was it to watch Sawyer do Sawyer things?

Czarina:  I'll have you know that I made the whistle as a class assignment while in college... so, not in South Georgia. #artschoolnonsense

I freaking love Sawyer. I like from the moment the plane crashed he was the only one who had already left the old world behind and embraced the new, rule-free life. His "I'm in the wild" line said it all.  But it was also nice to see that he can be shaken. I guess anyone would be shaken if they tried to mercifully kill a guy and failed.

Czar:  He was great. Why hasn't Josh Holloway been in anything since Lost?  He has a pilot coming this fall, but how does no one capitalize on the Sawyer heat generated in the mid 2000s?  That just seems like a big miss.

Czarina:  He seems like a good fit for Justified.

Czar:  It's another reason why Lost is great.  Everyone has all this layering and different shades.  Even Jin doesn't seem like the full-on bastard that we saw in the first two episodes.

Back to Sawyer/Holloway for a second.  If I'm a network executive in 2010, I would have given him eleventy billion dollars to star in my show about a cop who doesn't play by the rules.  Hell, basically redo Terriers on FX with Holloway and a rock, and I'd watch the hell out of that.

Czarina:  Meeee too.  To jump back to the comment before you professed your love of Josh Holloway... You're right, everyone on the show is very complex. While we will quickly grow to love and to feel connected to these characters, it will be seasons before we feel like we really "know" them. Everyone is a bit mysterious in one way or another. With the Jin/Sun thing, it just appears at first glance to be a cultural thing and nothing more.

Czar:  Next thing I have in my notes: Can we get Jack a change of clothes?  Also, has he been up for 96 consecutive hours?

Czarina:  Apparently so...and he doesn't even look tired! That's why he's the leader. Jack is too busy doing selfless things right now to take time to change clothes and clean up. I respect that. (I bet he smells horrible.)

Czar:  But he's already doing dumb stuff.  I understand about not inciting panic, but maybe we let people know about the giant thing that kills dudes in the jungle.  Just seems like that should be worth a mention.

Czarina:  I think his main goal right now is not to cause mass hysteria. I get that. He wants to survey the whole situation and not freak anyone out more than necessary. Sayid's group made the same choice when they withheld information from the group about the distress call.

Czar:  That's a little different than not telling people about the killing machine roaming in the jungle.

Did the slow motion stuff seem weird to you?  It was something that didn't happen in later seasons, and I'm glad they got away from it, because it gave the show a weird look when they did it.

Czarina:  These people all already know that something scary is in the jungle. I think that's enough to keep them on the beach (where they presume they are safe).

    YES! The slow motion moment with Kate in the tent seemed completely unnecessary. I guess it was supposed to add some suspense to the moment. Will she or won't she kill him? It just seemed really out of place in that particular moment.

    Next thing in my notes: THE WHEELCHAIR!!!

Czar:  I need more than that...

Czarina:  We saw Locke's wheelchair in the episode. Charlie helped Claire carry her luggage using the wheelchair. He also made the comment that "whoever this belongs to is certainly having a better day than us" or something to that extent. I found that strange... wouldn't we presume the person who the wheelchair belonged to was dead?

Czar:  That's a weird comment, and I now remember the wheelchair.  I guess you could take it any number of ways, but that is definitely one connotation.

Let's jump to the end, how wonderful was that montage?  Also, how dated does it make the show that Hurley is listening to a Walkman?

Czarina:  It was beautiful and so hopeful. I loved the idea that the island is a place for second chances. But if we're being real, here were my initial thoughts during those scenes: What is Hurley doing?! His battery is going to die, then what?? Why in the world would Sayid GIVE AWAY food on an ISLAND?! So... it was beautiful once I got past all that.

    I particularly liked seeing the softer side of Jin though... you know, while Sun was asleep so she couldn't stare at him with disdain.

Czar:  I'm guessing that probably isn't the last papaya floating around the island.  It seemed like a natural fruit he was tossing to Sawyer.  A wonderful final sequence, and something that makes you realize this show can do anything.  After last week ended on such a bummer, the end of this week's relatively dark episode shows that these people may have a shot.

One last thing: Jack tells Kate that "We all died three days ago".  This is absolutely in the beginning of someone's 80000 word thesis on how everyone on the island is in purgatory.

Czarina:  Oh, absolutely. I wonder if that was intentional by the writers, just to add another wrinkle in everything? I personally just took it to mean that to the rest of the world they're dead.

    Can we address Charlie's fake, finger tats for a second? Apparently one of the first things that he did after the plane crashed was to write "FATE" on his hands, but during this episode he changed it to "LATE". What's that about?

Czar:  I've really got nothing.  Riveting conversation, I know, but I just don't have anything.

Czarina:  This show fascinates me because I look for every minute detail to "mean" something. It disappoints me when we never find out what things mean as the seasons go on. Because of the proximity to Claire, I initially assumed it was something to do with her pregnancy.

Czar:  I remember the tea leave reading days of trying to follow this show.  I feel like there are probably 1000 emails/texts somewhere in the ether between myself and Scott [my brother] about all Lost related issues.

Czarina:  To finish things off, I'll list off the final items on my notes and see if you care to comment: 1. Why is no one sun-burnt?  2. Hurley should run more, it makes me laugh. 3. Why is everyone running from the rain? Is that just a natural reaction?  4. Kate's mug shot does not "look hardcore" at all. 5. Locke makes my heart happy.

Czar:  

1. Remember, the island is "magic"

2. LOL, fat people running

3. Do you like to get rained on?  Also, studies have shown that you actually get wetter when you run in the rain as opposed to walk.  How about that?

4. Fact

5. Double Fact

Czarina:  Well said, Czar.

Lost Rewatch Chat "Pilot Part 2"

Since the Internet clearly needs some more people to talk about Lost, I have decided to collect some of my friends and discuss the first season of the seminal series.  Starting this week, I will be conducting chats with a couple of friends of the Czar as we work our way through the opening season.  Feel free to add your own thoughts about the episode in the comments below.

Czar:  Let's get this thing on a rolling.  The first thing I have in my notes is a question: Did the TSA start making us take off our shoes because they watched Lost?

Matt:  It was either Lost or the guy with the bomb in his shoe, but I like the Lost take better.  Speaking of Charlie, did he not strap himself into a first class seat when the plane went down? How did he survive?

Czar:  Yeah, I was trying to track him around the plane because I wondered that too.  I guess we're supposed to believe he circled back to coach.  I'll admit to some confusion there.  I'm sure there's a Lost message board somewhere on the Internet where someone has done a 6000 word deconstruction of the scene.

Matt:  Probably so. I don't think he made it back, though. Not that it matters. Charlie is great. But he better ration out his goods, because I haven't seen any drug dealers on the island yet. 

So I took notes on this episode. The first was about Charlie being in first class. The second was about Sun. She looked like she understood Michael when her and Jin were fishing.

Czar:  Yep.  She looks like she wants to respond to him in English, but then she looks at her goon of a husband and decides to throw out some casual Japanese instead.

Matt:  Jin is a goon. He's much more pleasant when he's catching bad guys in Hawaii. I'd be happier on that island, too, I guess. About the Japanese, do you like how we don't see subtitles when they speak to each other?

Czar:  To be honest, I find it a little annoying that I don't know what they're saying.  I know they mix in some subtitles for important stuff, but I don't like what seems like incoherent blathering.  Plus, Jin just repeats himself 1000 times trying to get people to eat whatever he wants them to eat.

Matt:  It is a annoying, but I think it helps put us in the shoes of the people Jin and Sun are talking to. As for the food - I find it hard to believe that a fat guy would turn down food, no matter how disgusting, on a desert island. He must have a secret stock pile of airplane meals.

Czar:  Good point on the Jin and Sun thing.  I have to say, when I'm a hungry dude, I'll take down anything.  I forgot my lunch earlier this year and got offered, and ate, chicken liver.  Horrifying, but I was no longer hungry.

Matt:  Was it fried? If so, that's a delicacy. If not, then you must have been really hungry.

Czar:  It was fried.  Still gross.  I was told I needed copious amounts of hot sauce, but sadly there was none.

Matt:  Gravy helps, too.

Czar:  As dudes, I feel like we have to discuss the double dose of eye candy we got this episode.  Intentional, or just trying to give us more of a life on the island feel?  I mean really, couldn't Sun have had that conversation with Kate with her fully clothed?

Matt:  I made a note of that, too. When I saw Shannon, my thought was, "Alright, a little fanboy service," but it made sense with the scene. She's being a brat too full of denial to help out. With Kate, though, my thought was like yours: "Is this necessary?"

Czar:  That being said, I did appreciate them putting Kate in mom jeans immediately afterwards.  That seemed authentic.

Matt:  Yeah. I'm guessing she pulled those out of someone else's suitcase.

Czar:  Yep.  Also, I enjoyed the rampant profiling of Sayid.  Given that it was 2004, seemed fairly acceptable.  Imagine if Sawyer knew he was in the Republican Guard.

Matt:  I thought that was the perfect intro for Sawyer. Also, was Sayid holding back in that fight? It seems like he should have been able to take care of Sawyer with ease.  And I loved Hurley's expression when Sayid told him he was in the Republican Guard. That was priceless.

Czar:  Some more good work from those two.  I think it's fun to watch a show where people can be good, earnest people and it works out.  Maybe I've been watching too much Game of Thrones, but it seems like a novelty in the drama genre in 2013.

Matt:  There's definitely not many happy things happening in dramas this year.

Czar:  I know the show has dark moments, and dark people (this episode ends on a real bummer), but it's just a lighter, happier show than I'm used to seeing nowadays.  Everybody has their warts, but a lot of these people are basically decent dudes.

Matt:  It's like they've realized pretty quickly that in order for them to survive they're going to have to work together. Or maybe most of them still think help is coming soon and that keeps them in a good/hopeful mood.

By the way, even though they do seem like good people, there sure is a lot of lying going on.  Granted, it may be lying to prevent fear/mass hysteria, but it's lying nonetheless.

Czar:  I'm not saying we're all sweethearts, but we're not miserable sadists either.  Drama in 2013 everybody!

How heavy-handed did you find the conversation between Locke and Walt?

Matt:  Light and Dark! Light and Dark! Do you think the writers knew where they were going with that?

Czar:  I have no doubt they knew they were setting up an epic good vs. evil thing, but I still refuse to believe they had any idea how the overall story would play out.

Matt:  And a quick aside - backgammon is not the oldest board game. That title belongs to Senet, an Egyptian game that dates back to 3500-3100 BC. Backgammon goes back to 3000 BC. And Locke is crazy if he thinks it's better than checkers.

Back to the conversation - it certainly seemed ominous. Do you remember it feeling that way the first time you saw it?

Czar:  To be honest, I completely forgot about the backgammon thing.  I only remembered the secret thing.  It definitely is an ominous scene and something that indicates Locke already has his weird kinship with the island.

Also, shouts to you for doing your board game homework.  That being said, I would vote for backgammon because I can play it in Vegas.

Matt:  I did some research earlier this year for a school thing.

I thought the secret thing was creepy, too. My note was, "Stranger Danger, Walt! Stranger Danger!"

Czar:  Yes, I know we cut away at that moment, but how does a 10 year old kid not run away screaming?

Matt:  Agreed. I would say the Australians I've encountered have mostly been very chill and trusting people, but I don't think he's spent enough time down under to pick that up.

Czar:  A few final things I would like to touch on.  1. Kate is revealed as the prisoner.  I don't know why I should care who the prisoner was.  You're on an island.  Rules of society are over.  Who cares who was what before two days ago?

Matt:   I could see being concerned. For all you know that prisoner could have been a serial killer. You don't want that loose around you, especially with a gun, do you?

Czar:  Fair point.  If you're that concerned, then you just ice them.  It's the biggest flaw in the show.  Too many people got away with too much BS.  There are no rules.  You don't like somebody, then FINISH THEM!!!

Matt:  I think they're still holding on to current societal rules because most of them still expect to be rescued because no one in the know has mentioned that they're 1000 miles off course.  

Another aside - do prisoners flying commercial get to load the plane first? Are other passengers aware that a prisoner is on board? Do other passengers get a discount for flying with the prisoner? Depending on the prisoner, and my proximity to him/her, I think I'd want a discount.

Czar:  No kidding.  How is this a thing?  The Marshalls can't organize a private plane?  It doesn't have to be nice, just something to get from A to B.  You would think you would have to make people aware a prisoner was on board.  If the prisoner hurt me, I would sue for roughly eleventy billion dollars.

Matt:  Exactly. Because you know they aren't flying you to the other side of the world for some petty crime.

Czar:  Final thing: The episode ends on a pretty intense bummer.  What are we supposed to make of that?  Are we supposed to just think they'll find a way to overcome the odds?  My first thought was, "Oh, well that's not good."

Matt:  It certainly made a bad situation even worse.  Like I've been alluding to, people still have hope up until this point, which I think quells a lot of potential disagreements. Once they figure out how hopeless their situation really is, things could get dicey.

Czar:  Yes.  Those that realize how dire it is will be the winners.  I can't believe we talked Lost for over an hour and didn't talk about the polar bear.  Am I really that desensitized to crazy stuff happening on television?

Matt:  I was going to throw it in if you didn't mention it.  Agreed. Show that today and no one blinks an eye.  By the way, I think the chances of Sawyer downing that bear with his hand gun are slim to say the least.  Also, does no one on the beach have any wilderness skills? Someone field dress that baby get it grilling!

Czar:  Seriously.  You can makeshift something to drag it back to camp.  Bear meat for everyone!

The idea of bear meat just made me hungry.  To the Bat Kitchen.

Matt:  Agreed.

20 Questions About the 2012-2013 Television Season (Part 3)

America’s favorite running Internet article series on the 2012-2013 television season is back! After answering 10 questions (part 1 and part 2 are still available for your consumption), we’re halfway home. If you’ve been following along, you know the format by now. If you haven’t been following along… you’ll figure it out. It’s really not that complicated.

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And Who Might You Be: Game of Thrones Edition

This Week's Character: Ramsay Snow

Ramsay Snow is Lord Roose Bolton's illegitimate and only living son. He's known as the Bastard of Bolton, but in the books at least, don't call him a bastard to his face because you'll probably end up dead or worse. I like to call him Westeros' Worst*.

*Yes, I am fully aware that Joffery "I'm not really a" Baratheon also lives in Westeros.

If you've been watching the show, then you recently found out that Snow is the guy that's been torturing Theon Greyjoy, which means you also know that he's a very sick and twisted dude. He loves to torture people both physically and psychologically, and he seems to have no remorse whatsoever.

In the books, Ramsay is the result of Roose Bolton raping a miller's wife under the pretense of the banned tradition of "First Night," which gives a lord the right to sleep with a commoner's wife before the commoner does**. When Bolton finds out about his son he pays the woman in land, livestock, and money to never tell Ramsay who his real father is.

**By the way, Bolton rapes her underneath the hanged body of the miller, whom Bolton killed for not informing Bolton of the marriage.

Seeing as how the nut doesn't fall far from the tree, Ramsay's mother goes to Bolton about 12 years later claiming she needs more help raising Ramsay because he's basically showing the early signs of being a psychopath. Bolton sends her a servant named Reek because of a skin condition that makes him stink all the time. Ramsay and Reek quickly become inseparable and form a duo of destruction. Sometime after Reek gets there, Ramsay learns about his real father. Instead of being a good little bastard that accepts the child support and stays out of sight, Ramsay gets ideas of grandeur. He poisons his older half-brother and only true heir of Bolton, which forces Bolton to make Ramsay heir to his lordship.

I could spend probably another 1,000 words discussing the atrocious exploits of Ramsay from the books. All his activities can be found here, but since I don't want to ruin any potential happenings in the show, I would advise you show watchers to not click that link. I'll try to give you a brief list of highlights.

• Straight from A Wiki of Ice and Fire: Ramsay "openly enjoys abusive and sick practices such as having young women stripped naked and released into the Bolton forests, before hunting them with a pack of feral dogs."
• While Bolton is away fighting in the War of the Five Kings, Ramsay attacks a neighboring House that had just lost its lord and heir in the war, forces the widowed lady of the House to marry him and proclaim him lord of the land, and then locks her in a tower without food where she eventually eats some of her own fingers before starving to death.
• When approached by Ser Rodrick Cassel of Winterfell, who's out to kill Ramsay for his atrocities, Ramsay switches clothes with Reek and watches as his "close friend" is killed by Ser Rodrick, who thinks he's killed Ramsay.
• A prisoner at Winterfell and still under the guise of Reek, Ramsay earns the trust of Theon Greyjoy after he captures Winterfell and orchestrates the cover up of Bran and Rickon's escape by killing two peasant boys and flaying the corpses to avoid recognition.
• He convinces Theon to send him to the Dreadfort for reinforcements when the Northmen attempt to take Winterfell back from Theon. When Ramsay returns, he kills the Northmen, and then takes Winterfell for himself, capturing Theon in the process.
• You've seen the ways he tortures Theon, breaking Theon down until he completely abandons his identity and starts calling himself Reek. The books skip over most of the torture scenes, instead revealing tidbits here and there after they've already occurred. For example, while it's implied that Theon was castrated, we (thankfully) don't read it happening, nor do we get a scene where Ramsay makes Theon think he's eating his own manhood. Theon most definitely gets certain body parts flayed, though, and does lose quite a few fingers, toes, and teeth.

As you can see, Ramsay is just plain terrible. In reality, he's probably not all the different from his father. He just has no filter, tact, or the ability to see beyond the present. As I'm sure you've guessed, Ramsay will be back next season, and assuming the show stays the course with the books, will continue to set the bar high for depravity in Westeros.

Matt